After having behavioral testing with a (wonderful) neuropsychologist, Jackson was formally diagnosed in May of this year with ADHD and Anxiety Disorder. His doctor firmly believes these problems are secondary to the things he suffered at and after birth, rather than genetic or some such other cause. Many who are reading this probably already know these things about Jackson, but I thought it could be helpful to post a general update for those friends of ours who haven't heard...just because we know you love him, and we so appreciate your prayers for our family. ADHD is, obviously, way over-diagnosed in our culture. It is shocking (after all we went through to get a diagnosis) how easily many children are diagnosed with this disorder, and I hope that it will be apparent we weren't just looking for a diagnosis to make us feel better about our unruly child. Jackson struggles in a very real way. He deals with almost constant regressions (think: potty trained one day and not at all the next; sleeping through the night one day and not the next, etc etc), difficulty concentrating (his attention span used to generally be about 30 seconds, but has improved sooo much over the last year), major inability to regulate his body--especially with anger and frustration, inability to deescalate after over-stimulation (often takes days to "recover"), difficulty with relationships, acting on impulse etc. On top of this he experiences real, life-limiting fear in many areas...but especially with separation from his mama. He already has trouble making sense of his thoughts and feelings, and adding fear on top is a volatile combination. By God's grace, we are surrounded with a host of family and friends (near and far) who have borne our burden in literally countless ways. Creative, considerate, self-sacrificing ways. Giving of themselves to give help to Jackson and our family. We are truly blessed. Jackson made incredible progress in the school year last year while attending the Early Learning Center. His speech improved exponentially. And he had the opportunity (though never easy for him) to separate from Mommy and Daddy four mornings every week. The neuropsychologist said he is "a poster child for early intervention." Praise the Lord, because we almost didn't put him in school last year. But these things are an ongoing battle for us, and one that we are still figuring out how to fight.
We are all weak, as human beings, but God has given Mason and I (and our whole extended family) the privilege of caring for one who is weaker than many and who, in turn, makes us weaker than many. But we are learning it is a gift to be weak. Because His grace is truly sufficient, and His power has never been more evident in carrying us where we can't walk, and bringing us on one day at a time. One fall morning when I dropped Jackson off at school, I literally fled the building as fast as I could without making a scene. His screams from my leaving were audible until I got through the last door, and my heart felt like 10,000 broken pieces. I cried to God in the car as I drove away--"God, my heart, my heart!" But He had already given me the answer I needed in my reading that morning, and it felt then like a firm, warm embrace. "As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you." Isaiah 66:13 That has been the verse of the last year. Jackson needs me more than most children need their mother, and I adore him and want only to comfort and help him. And God is like that for me. I praise His name!
