Gratitude is key

The days shortly after Jackson's open heart surgery were some of the hardest of our lives. As I understand it, he had fluid collecting around his lungs, but not enough to be detected yet. He was also fighting addiction to one drug, and continuing to heal from major surgery. Up to this point he had had moments or hours of discomfort with procedures and what not, but his little body was fighting so hard and he was generally sleepy or sedated. Now suddenly he was awake and visibly suffering. He had regained enough strength to breathe without a ventilator, and his shrill cry was like a distress signal ringing in our heads and hearts. From what I remember Mason and I didn't talk very much during this time. The pain was too great. Words were empty and inadequate, and the tension was silencing. Shortly after Jackson was born I had remembered a "thankfulness board" made by someone who was suffering. I decided to implement something similar and had hung a string in his window that we pinned little cards onto listing things we were thankful for. It had hung silently during this trying time until one afternoon I stepped back in to our room and noticed a card had been added. I remember walking over to read it and breaking down when I saw what it said. Mason had written, "I am thankful Jackson is strong enough to cry." As soon as I read it I could see it was true. Jackson shouldn't have even been alive to cry. And before this time he had been so weak he couldn't cry. That torturing, heart breaking cry was the sound of grace.
Are you hurting today? Whether it be in a big or small way? Life-altering devastation or just daily annoyances and trials? Oh dear hurting heart--we do understand. But I would encourage you to trust God enough to thank Him. Even for the things you don't understand. Especially for the things you don't understand. I think you will find it to be an outstretched hand pulling you back from the black edge of despair.